Do you remember how you felt when you started a very special relationship? Before the thought of marital problems or marriage counseling ever entered your mind? Take a minute and think back to those first few days or weeks. Do you recall those strong emotions? Go back in your mind, back to the beginning of that relationship. Do you remember how eager you were to spend time with your new partner? Do you remember what it was like when you went to bed each night, thinking about this new person in your life? And then, when the morning came, this person was again in your thoughts?
Now perhaps that was not exactly how it happened for you. But you probably experienced something similar to it. You most likely did feel more alive. And I don’t think it is a stretch to say you felt a real urge to care for this other person. And away you both went creating a new relationship and a new future.
Then time entered in. As the weeks became months and the months became years, these strong, vibrant feelings became less intense, less alive. In some cases, we still felt the desire to care for the other person, but the thrill was going away. That “loving feeling” had either weakened considerably or had gone away entirely.
Unfortunately for some of us, this meant that it was time to move on. The love had left the relationship, so we figured the relationship no longer should be continued. More unfortunate are those whose love, trust and caring turned eventually to hatred and suspicion.
How could such a wonderful beginning have such a bad ending?
What are the real forces at work that undermine our most treasured relationships? Are they identifiable? Can we know what causes a relationship to turn in the wrong direction? And more importantly, can we do something about it?
The answer is a very resounding YES!
The reasons a relationship goes off the rails have been discovered. And when I say ‘discovered’, I don’t mean in some ivory tower or psychobabble sense. I mean the answers to any failing relationship have been discovered and put together in a way that YOU can use.
Many, many books have been written in an effort to improve relationships. Go into any bookstore and you’ll see shelf after shelf of attempts to help you love and relate better. It’s hard to miss the infomercials promising to help couples improve their marriages.
So why is the divorce rate still wildly out of control? And why are there so many failed relationships?
Unfortunately, too much of the information on handling relationships does not address the precise reasons a relationship fails.
Let’s say a friend comes and gives you a broken radio and asks you to fix it. The information you have on fixing radios is very limited, but you decide to give is a try. Perhaps you whack the side of the radio and it starts up, but a few minutes later it’s on the blink again. If you knew the actual reasons why the radio was not working and you knew exactly what to do to fix the radio – well, you’d have a fixed radio in no time.
People do NOT just fall out of love. Certain things happened and when those exact things are located and addressed, a relationship can be dramatically improved. You will know why it went wrong and you will know how to make it go right.
For more information on the precise reasons a relationship fails and how to remedy this, get a copy of “When the Thrill is Gone: How to put the Life and Excitement Back into ANY Relationship” at www.HelpYourMarriage.com
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