Marriage and relationship author Stan Dubin has revealed the number one reason couples end up in marriage counseling. Dubin has laid out the top reason in his new book “When the Thrill is Gone: How to put the Life and Excitement Back into ANY Relationship.”
Author Stan Dubin stated “When people get together, either in a relationship or in any kind of group situation, they make certain agreements with each other. In the workplace we usually agree to be on time, to work hard, to be productive. In a marriage, we agree to be sexually faithful, to be honest, to be supportive. When people create a partnership (of any kind), agreements are an essential ingredient to the partnership. We may not sit down and list out all of these agreements, but these agreements are there. They may not have been put in writing, they may not even have been formally agreed upon, but they do exist.
“When we do something that violates any of these agreements, we KNOW that we’ve done so. We may try to convince ourselves that ‘it was unavoidable’ or ‘they deserved it.’ It doesn’t matter. We know that we’ve done something that, in some way, has violated an agreement of the relationship. Some of these broken agreements are more serious than others. We have all heard the term “transgression.” Simply stated: a transgression is a broken agreement. Usually, the more serious the transgression, the less willing we are to talk about it.
“We tend to accumulate these transgressions over a period of time AND too often we keep them to ourselves. When one spouse (or boyfriend, girlfriend, employee, etc.) commits too many transgressions, the result is a lessened willingness to communicate. And from this condition, all kinds of other problems show up. But what came first was the broken agreement, the transgression. There are all kinds of ways that a person justifies their own transgressions, but that is all it is — justification.
“When you hear someone being very critical of another person (spouse, brother, father, boss, employee, etc.), what do you know? More often than not, you know that this person has accumulated too many transgressions that have not been communicated.
“Broken agreements in a marriage is THE number one reason that couples end up in marriage counseling and/or divorce. The good news is there is a way to address this point very effectively."
In the book “When the Thrill is Gone: How to put the Life and Excitement Back into ANY Relationship,” Dubin outlines methods for overcoming the problem of broken agreements that destroys marriages, and restoring the love and excitement to the relationship. The book is sold in eBook form and can be found at www.HelpYourMarriage.com
Bookmark this page