Stan Dubin, author of “When the Thrill is Gone: How to put the Life and Excitement Back into ANY Relationship,” has released a list of 10 tips to help marriage couples succeed:
- Schedule time to spend with your spouse every day. In today’s hectic lifestyle, this can sometimes be difficult. But it’s important. Have dinner together at home, or spend some time talking each day.
- Schedule time to go out on a “date” every so often, i.e. dinner and a movie, or a play, or a concert, or some other recreational activity that you do together. If you have kids, at least some of the time this should be done without the kids.
- Tell your spouse that you love them. This is harder for guys, but this can be very helpful to a marriage. Other shows of affection are also important: Don’t underestimate the power of a hug.
- Come up with ideas of nice things to do for your spouse. This doesn’t have to be flowers and chocolates and gifts. It can be just something nice you do for him or her.
- Thank your spouse for things that they do for you. This can be as simple as thanking your wife for making a nice dinner, which took time and effort, especially if it is something you really like. Or thank your husband for washing the car. Or for walking the dog. It makes them feel that their efforts in keeping the relationship or family going are appreciated and important.
Stan Dubin stated “One of the keys to maintaining a healthy relationship over many years, avoiding marriage counseling, not losing the thrill of the relationship, and not getting burned out, is to find ways to continue to create the relationship every day. A marriage is basically a created relationship between two people. If one doesn’t continue to create that relationship as time goes by, then the relationship will cease to exist and marital problems will arise.”
- Tips #6-10 are:
- 6. When either your spouse or one of your children accomplishes something important to them, find a way to celebrate that, like going out on a special celebratory dinner for instance.
- Remember special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries, and find some way to celebrate these. This doesn’t have to be expensive.
- Always make holidays a family time or time to spend with your spouse.
- Keep communication lines open with your spouse. Discuss marital problems and upsets instead of letting them simmer. Some people have a policy of “never going to bed angry”, i.e. without discussing the upset and working things out.
- Turn off the TV. Incredibly, Americans watch an average of 4 hours of TV per day. Turn the TV off and spend some of that time talking to your spouse and/or your kids. They’re more important.
Anyone wondering how to improve their marriage can do so by using Dubin’s book, "When the Thrill is Gone: How to put the Life and Excitement Back into ANY Relationship" at www.HelpYourMarriage.com.
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