Three Love Quotes To Melt Your Heart

This is a guest post from Sylvia Smith. Sylvia is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples in therapy. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage:

“The world may see marriage differently now as old traditions are being replaced by new ones. But one thing is for sure: no other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement as a marriage.

“Marriage is truly awesome! I’d like to present three love quotes to inspire you in your marital journey…”

Marriage as a Verb

Friendship - The Spark of Marriage Love and Tomorrow

8 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Today!

I think you’ll agree with me when I say:

Love is a verb.

To make your spouse feel loved, we need to DO loving things for them.

Too many couples tend to forget that.

But you can start making a difference in your marriage today:

My friend Elizabeth Davis from created this wonderful infographic on “8 Scientfic Ways To Improve Your Marriage Today”.

You don’t need to do all of them, of course.

It’s enough if you just start with one little thing today.

Leave a quick comment and let me know what you’re going to do today to improve your marriage.

Even if it’s just saying “Thank You” to your spouse.

The Power of “Thank You”

How often have you heard this advice:

Take a few seconds in your marriage—or any relationship for that matter—and simply say "Thank you."

I imagine you've heard that suggestion a few times. So, let me ask you a fairly blunt question:

How many times in the past week did you say "Thank you" to your husband or wife? ​

For those of you who frequently—and sincerely—thank your spouse, here is a "high five!"

We seem to have so much to do these days and so many other things on our minds to also get done, we do not take the time to do some of the "little" but powerful things to improve our relationships.

Your spouse cooks a great dinner. You could give her (or him) a fast "thanks" at the end of the meal, or you could stand up and get right up in front of her (or him) and say, "Thank you, honey, for that wonderful dinner!"

​When your spouse reaches over and hands you the salt or the newspaper or an item of clothing, you could take for granted that simple act OR you could say, "Thanks" and include a big smile! Did that take long? Did we lose any time in our hectic day when we said "thank you" and meant it?

Of course not.

It's the intention here that counts.

Do we want to demonstrate to our spouse that we appreciate them and appreciate ​what they do? Hopefully yes.  

A very simple way to do this is with a frequent use of the two words "Thank you" ...and feel free to throw in a big smile as a bonus. 

There are many ways to say "Thank you." The husband brings her wife flowers and the wife wonders "what's the occasion?"​ The husband says, "just wanted to say thank you for all of the wonderful things you do."

The wife cooks a completely off the charts dinner one night and the husband here wants to know what the occasion is. The wife simply lets him know how much she appreciates him and everything he does! ​

My apologies to any readers who feel I've stereotyped men and women here by these last two examples—but I give these solely as examples of expressing appreciation.

Here's my very strong belief:

The more often you and your spouse find sincere ways to communicate your "thanks" to each other, the brighter your marriage will be.​

Can Watching Movies Help Your Marriage?


Here is an excerpt of an article I just read:

A new study finds that watching and discussing movies about relationships is as effective in lowering divorce rates as other, more intensive early marriage counseling programs.

Discussing five movies about relationships over a month could cut the three-year divorce rate for newlyweds in half, researchers report. The study, involving 174 couples, is the first long-term investigation to compare different types of early marriage intervention programs.

The findings show that an inexpensive, fun, and relatively simple movie-and-talk approach can be just as effective as other more intensive therapist-led methods — reducing the divorce or separation rate from 24 to 11 percent after three years.

My view of this is very simple.

Anything that gets you and your spouse (or significant other) communicating about your relationship is valid “therapy.” Obviously communicating involves letting your partner communicate fully, listening to them and acknowledging them.

The Failures of “Traditional” Marriage Counseling

Here is an excerpt from an article I saw over at

Bill Doherty, a professor in the family social science department at the University of Minnesota, said, “Around 30 percent of the couples coming into marriage counseling are mixed agenda couples,” he says. “Divorce is on the table for one of the parties. Traditional marriage counseling has no way to deal with those people. It’s been an area of frustration for a lot of marriage counselors.”

Let me give you those last two sentences again:

“Traditional marriage counseling has no way to deal with those people. It’s been an area of frustration for a lot of marriage counselors.”

Let’s say you take your computer to a guy who says he’s an expert at fixing computers. You spent a lot of money on this computer, and you’d really like to keep using it. The repair guy looks over your computer and says, “you’d really be better off throwing this one away and getting a new one.”

You ask him if he CAN fix it. “Well, I think I can, but what’s wrong with your computer is a real challenge to fix.”

So what do you do? You thought you were bringing your computer to a pro, someone who advertised himself as an expert in computer repair.

The same is true with marriage counselors.

If you’re thinking of seeing a marriage counselor who is “frustrated” by the use of the “divorce” word by one or even both partners, then may I suggest you look elsewhere.

If divorce is being considered, then the factors in this post have NOT been addressed.

You must get to the source of the problem. If you do, things get better. MUCH better.

You must get to the reason for the bad feelings, for the lack of love or romance, for the distance that’s occurring between the two of you.

If you get to THE reason, things get better.

MUCH better.

Love Quotes — Something for Everyone

I went scouring throughout the web to find some interesting “love quotes.” I found all kinds: romantic, funny, deeply meaningful and even some clever ones!

Here are a few examples:

“Love is the greatest refreshment in life.” — Pablo Picasso

“Love: the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Mark Twain

“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” — Lily Tomlin

Check out the others at the Love Quotes page!

A New Type of Marriage?

I was at a web site today that mentioned an interesting bill being considered in the Alabama state legislature. The bill “would require couples entering into a covenant marriage to enter counseling before they’re married, and they attend counseling if they want to get a divorce. It also limits the reasons for which married couples can divorce.”

(covenant: a formal agreement or promise)

It’s an interesting idea and I’m wondering, if the bill is enacted, how many couples would take part in this. If you’re currently married, do you feel you would’ve benefited from a legally binding agreement that wouldn’t let your marriage end in divorce unless certain requirements were met?

If you’re not married, do you like this idea? Remember, this law would not you let enter into the marriage without first going through counseling with your future spouse.

I wonder what kind of counseling is being required here. I’d object strongly to counseling that caused two very capable people not to marry when they should have.

All in all, if a married couple has the tools to keep a marriage alive, supportive, and yes, even exciting, then I would think that would suffice. If you haven’t downloaded a copy of my book on marriages (which has many tools to help a marriage succeed), I’m making it available for awhile at no cost. Here’s the link to get the book.

THE NUMBER ONE Reason Relationships Fail

I realize it’s a bold statement to say THE NUMBER ONE reason relationships fail has been located. Well, it has been located and thousands are using this information to dramatically improve their relationships.

Before I get into it, let me tell you briefly about myself. My name is Stan Dubin and I live in Clearwater, Florida.

I run a national counseling firm that sends highly-skilled counselors around the United States and Canada. We help individuals and couples improve their lives to their satisfaction.

Image2Here is a picture of my family…

On my left is my wife, Mary Ann. And that’s our daughter, Chelsea, to my right.

My wife and I have been married for 34 years. Has it been a smooth ride all the way through? No. There have been some tough spots, some very tough. But we applied the same information that is being made available to you here, and each time we did, our marriage improved dramatically.

So enough about me, let’s get on with it… Read more »

54% of Children Ask Google Before Parents or Teachers

While watching the news this morning the following image came across the screen:


The majority of kids in this survey indicated they went to Google first before asking their parents or teachers.

Very interesting.

I do have concerns about the validity of surveys conducted these days. If I don’t know the exact questions that were asked, how they were asked, how they found the people to survey, what kind of training did the people conducting the survey have, etc., then I do not fully accept the survey results. I think it’s healthy to be a bit skeptical of surveys.

But moving on, this survey does have a ring of truth to it, doesn’t it. Our kids have moved further away from actual, in-person communication and are more and more immersed in the world of devices. Computers, laptops, iPad, iPods, smart phones, X Boxes, you name it. Use of text messaging has gone into the stratosphere with our kids.

It’s not important to me that it’s 54% of kids 6-15 as I accept the fact that this is a real situation. Read more »

Does Couples Therapy Work?

After reading an article by Elizabeth Weil for the New York Times, I felt compelled to share some important observations with you here. Her article was titled “Does Couples Therapy Work?” Here is a short excerpt:

The fact that couples therapy stresses out therapists has long been an open secret.

“It’s widely acknowledged that couples therapy is the most challenging,” says Richard Simon, editor of The Psychotherapy Networker. “You often feel confused, at odds with a least one of your patients, out of control.”

Part of the problem is that the kind of person who tends to become a therapist — empathic, sensitive, calm, accepting — is generally not the kind of person who is a good couples therapist. “The traditional, passive uh-huh, uh-huh is useless,” Dr. Real, a prominent psychologist, says. “You have to like action. To manage marital combat, a therapist needs to get in there, mix it up with the client, be a ninja. This is intimidating.”

“It’s frightening to be faced with the force of two strong individuals as they are colliding,” he says.

William J. Doherty, a University of Wisconsin professor of family social science, says, “A brilliant therapeutic observation can blow up in your face when one spouse thinks you’re a genius and the other thinks you’re clueless — or worse, allied with the enemy.”

Okay, first things first. A properly trained marriage counselor has absolutely nothing to be afraid of.  If the marriage counselor knows the precise reasons a marriage goes off the rails, fear of what patients may say or do never enters the scene. Read more »